A Dream.

The murmuring of people.
As they walk by.
The sound of roar.
Behind me.
I want to go on it.

I stand in line.
Waiting for my turn.
The look on others.
Excitement.
And fear.

The lady with long hair.
Buckles me up.
I let out a breath.
Am I scared?
No.

As it goes up.
And up.
The excitement.
Builds.
Till wanting to burst.

The sky is blue.
A very pure shade of orange.
In the distance. 
My eyes closed.
As time stops.

The gush of wind.
Flows around.
The beeping sounds.
Confused.
Excited.

Cold.
That sound.
People screaming.
Enjoying.
Adrenaline rush.

Crying.
Laughing.
What is this?
Am I...
....dreaming?

The sound.
Gone.
The line is dead.
There is no more.
Dream became me.

Vanished.

Sitting at my bed.
I look up at the ceiling.
Memories play.
Some sad, some good.
Like a movie.

Smiling at one.
And another.
A tear falls down.
My face.
Why?

Why does it hurt?
So much that I still.
Want to hug you.
Want to cherish you.
Want to kiss you.

Lost, in these thoughts.
Hold me.
Wrap me up.
Unfold me.
I am small.

The warmth.
Is gone.
Forever.
You couldn't be the one.
I wanted.

You wanted my attention.
I gave it to you.
Where were you?
When I needed you the most?
Why did you hurt me?

Do you feel anything?
Did you feel anything?
I still feel for you.
Yet I'm letting you go.
Why do I still feel regret?

The more I think.
The more angry I feel.
The hurt you gave me.
Everything....
Vanished into thin air.

Gone.

The moment I saw it coming.

I knew I was a goner.

The way you smiled.

They way your eyes.

Had that glow.

I looked at you from afar.

Wanting to be by your side.

I had felt nothing like this.

There was something.

That made me smile.

Every time you called my name.

You recognized who I was.

As days went by.

We became friends.

But I wanted to be more.

But then you said.

I wasn't enough.

When we became more than I wanted.

I thought.

We were meant to be.

What is this I feel?

The hurt.

The guilt.

That hollowness.

You took it all away.

You thought I was just another.

You thought I couldn't be there.

You showed me what happiness is.

You showed me how to smile.

Yet, why do I feel regret?

Locking the room.

Little sobs come out of me.

I read the messages.

You called me those names.

Yet I'm sorry.

Open drawer.

Reached for the metal object.

Crying.

Pointed at my head.

Gone.

No Pain.

The object in front of me.
Blinking towards it.
I see myself.
As people see me.
But it's me.

You came into my life.
Gave me everything.
Yet you took it.
You took it all away.
From me.

Our past.
Our present.
Our future.
Gone.
Just like that.

The music playing.
Soft yet alluring.
Sitting on my bed.
I'm writing.
As a tear droplet falls.

Wiping my face.
I reach for the shiny object.
The familiar feeling.
Creeps along my spine.
As I hold it firmly.

Drawing out a breath.
I drag across.
Till I feel no more pain.
Till I feel the urge.
Dragging deeper and deeper.

The red ooze.
Feels good.
Soon, I feel.
Like I'm passing a race.
I feel no pain.

I'm Sorry.

When I met you.
I felt joy.
The burst of excitement.
The happiness.
You gave me.

The only thing.
That keeps me going.
Was your affection.
But now.....
......that's gone.

The hurt I feel.
Yet I see you.
This heaviness.
In my heart.
Gone forever.

I need you.
But all I see is.
All I see is.
You smiling.
At another.

Blinking.
As I'm sitting here.
I hear your laughter.
Just through this.
Obstacle.

Is this the end?
Is there no more?
What should I feel?
Should I feel anything?
Why does my heart hurt so much?

Hitting my chest.
Doesn't make.
The pain go away.
Just what is it?
About you?

As I walk.
Down the hallway.
The memories.
Shut my eyes.
I'm sorry.

No Words.

The soft strokes.
Gliding on white thin sheet.
The faint glow of a lamp.
Strong clicking of a clock.
As I sit and think.

How to put my feelings?
Onto a sheet?
When I just want to scream?
And tell the world?
Will they listen to my thoughts?

Will they ever know?
I pick up the quill.
And glide over the paper.
As my words come down.
I feel the outside close.

The warmth I once felt.
Now feels cold.
These warm feelings.
Once were mine.
Now they're no more.

Unfold me.
But it will only come.
To one end.
The reality strikes.
Harder than it seems.

Shifting across the page.
Memories cross my mind.
Like a never ending movie.
Like blood seeping.
Through my arm.

People say hurting yourself.
Has no outcome.
I say, hurt is the only way.
To escape the lights.
The demons inside.

Cracked.
Broken.
The cuts.
My fate.
Has been written.

Hurt.

Intertwined hands.
Swinging back and forth.
Smiles.
A glow on their faces.
Talking and laughing.

Watching from afar.
I wonder if they will.
End up like me.
Or will they have a new life?
Or will they suffer?

Hurt.
A small word.
Doesn't even begin.
To explain my pain.
My life.

The struggle.
The pain.
The hurt.
The agony.
The blood.

The love in their eyes.
Was once in mine.
The laughter echoing.
Was once mine.
My heart locked up forever.

Their new life.
The end of my thoughts.
Their new affection.
The end of my heart.
When will it end?

New beginnings.
End of me.
Where will I go?
Heaven?
Hell?

Help?
I don't need it.
My feelings are enough.
Friendship is what matters.
The most.

Wrap me up.
For I have sinned myself.
Please.
Oh please.
End this hurt. 

Breathe Me.

Craving for affection.

Sitting on a pillow. 

Imagining.

Daydreaming.

What it would be like?

If everything was gone?

Hurt.

Pain.

The burn in my heart.

The soul of my body.

Breathe me.

For I have done the worst.

Cringing in fear.

Of what I want to loose.

I would want.

To leave.

Rather die.

Would death be an option?

Decisions.

Routes.

Dilemma.

Breathing.

Why?

Just why?

The hole inside.

Like walking on broken glass.

Bleeding.

Through the veins.

Like watching someone die.

Unleash the demons.

Finding the light.

I'd rather rot.

In the dark.

The dark is worth it.

My feelings.

Doesn't count anymore.

They don't know the pain.

They don't know the misery.

They don't know the hurt.

A person goes through.

Thick and thin.

The end isn't worth it.

The worst part is.

There's no one else to blame.

My world.

Is big yet so small.

Breath me.

For I am to be blamed.

AUTHOR UPDATE #4!

Hey peeps.

So....I know you have been wondering what I've been doing all this time and you're probably saying 'why hasn't she been updating?!' 

Well....to answer all your questions. Recently, mid-June I started college to achieve my second diploma and for these last few weeks I had been swamped with homework and tests/exams. Don't ask.

Anyways.......I have been having family issues....but that's another story for another day. Right now, I'm going to be updating my blog fic and poems. And will be updating other stories that I have been meaning to finish. 

Without further notice.....

Ciao!

Obstacles.

The round object.
Goes up and down.
Like a shadow.
Lurking around.
But what of it?
When it stops?

Kicking it around.
Will only make it.
Go further.
Away from you.
From me.
I don't care.

The meaning.
Of this bond.
Means nothing.
To me.
I am over it.
So over it.

Black, intimidating circles.
As I blink into.
The darkness.
Chugging the cold liquid.
Feeling it go down.
Away from memories.

Walking on the cold.
Yet warm sand.
The breeze.
Washing away.
The obstacles.
Forever.

AUTHOR UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey guys.

Sorry if I haven't been updating lately. I have recently started school again and when I get home, I help around the house. So whenever I get a chance is around either early evening or late evening.

Anywho...I will be writing more poems. I feel like I have been neglecting it, so I will write more!!

Ciao <3
Annie

No More.

The radiant glow.
Of a small screen.
Sound of soft flesh.
Hitting the keys rapidly.
Eyes flickering.
With tears.

Sudden memories.
Play like a movie.
Crushing down.
In my brain.
All mushed.
Into the ground.

Banging it down.
Wanting to end it.
Ending it all.
What seems to.
Be the problem.
Why?

What did it mean?
All of it?
What did it mean.
To you?
Was it all a joke?
Shattering everywhere.

Making the time.
Go slow.
I want it to end.
I want no more.
Goodbye.
Forever.

The times.
We spent.
It's gone.
All gone.
No more crying.
No more trying.

Let It Go.

Wondering about.
What's to come.
Drinking my sorrows.
Thoughts running in my head.
What to do?

Searching for the destination.
Walking.
Climbing.
Running.
Drawing scars in my mind.

If it wasn't there.
Would it have been different?
Thinking about the future.
The past doesn't belong.
The tears on my face.

Waiting for that moment.
Seizing the chance.
Never letting it go.
Out of my hands.
But stays put wherever it goes.

Life is like a playground.
Playing on the rides.
Then letting it go.
After a short time.
Why is it hard to let go?

The beginning.
Is the end.
Thirsty for more.
But it never comes.
Determined to fight.
When will it come?

Warmth.

The white outlines.
The big puffs of cream.
Creating shapes.
As I look upon the sky.
Dreaming.

A warm cloth around me.
As I shiver against the cool breeze.
Sitting down.
I take a sip of warmth.
Relieving the coldness.

Watching the cars drive by.
The distant chatters of people.
Smiling upon the children playing.
Another sip of warmth.
Gaining exposure of the world.

Reminiscing the past.
Why did it hurt?
Even I don't know.
Maybe it was selfishness.
Or sorrow.

Wiping out all of it.
It would come again.
But it will get better.
Setting the cup down.
Smiling at memories.

Breakup.

Watching over you.

As you sleep.

I smile.

At our memories together.

But it all means.

Nothing.

I don't feel.

Anything.

The laughter.

The cries echoing.

In my ears.

For better or for worse.

Knowing the pain.

You have caused me.

In the time.

We were together.

That time.

Long past gone.

Now you lay.

On the comfy bed.

Dreaming about our future.

While I write this.

Tears flowing down.

My face.

This is not.

Normal.

Everyone told me.

It will work out.

But where's the comfort?

When I needed the most.

I write this to you.

So you would know.

That I want this.

As much as you do.

But it won't work between us. 

Not now, not ever. 

Joy.

Running my fingers.
Through your hair.
Listening to you.
Talk endlessly.
Smiling.
Laughing at jokes.

When I first met you.
It was the best.
Day of my life.
Asking questions.
Getting to know.
One another.

Admitting.
Comforting.
Fighting.
Relying.
Is what we did.
And still do.

Together we are.
Perfect.
Apart we are.
Nothing.
Does that stop us?
Only time will tell.

Swinging our arms.
Hand in hand.
Feeling the warmth.
Beneath us.
The first.
And last.

But the love.
Between us.
Is unbreakable.
You bring.
Me happiness.
And joy.

AUTHORS UPDATE #2!

Hello my fellow readers!!!

I have recently been inactive due to me getting sick with the flu. T_T I am still sick but recovering. I just wanted to do this quick update as to what I'm doing regarding my writing...

I write poetry on my feelings towards something or someone. It comes and goes. I write them once I know what the exact topic is going to be about. I write them in one sitting, hence why my blog is filled with poems rather than short fictions.

As for this blog's short fiction, it is on its way!! I write it as I type it. But I need to proofread the previous parts since people have been complaining about it. Like I said, next part is on its way and as for the proofreading, I will make sure I will do them correctly this time! (And the previous parts as well....)

AND lastly, I have told in the last update that I have been writing a fan fiction on the game based story Resident Evil. It doesn't have the usual zombie attack theme to it. It's romantic comedy, so the plot line is very different but the characters have the same name. Of course, their personalities will be different....but that's beside the point!!! What I want is....for you all to tell me how I'm doing with that story. Because I do have an idea where it's going to go next in chapter 6. But it would be great if I could get some feedback on it. (I might have some grammar issues there too...but. AHEM) I will post the link here again and I want ALL OF YOU TO MAKE AN ACCOUNT ON FANFICTION.NET AND WRITE A REVIEW. SO THAT WAY I CAN AT LEAST SAY THANK YOU AND ASK FOR YOUR FEEDBACK!!!

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9853511/1/Gone-for-Good

Me: Chris Redfield.
Chris: What?
Me: Nothing. O_O
Chris: o_O
Me: *_* *drools*
Chris: You like my muscles? *flexes*
Me: GOD DAMNIT, CHRIS! *wipes bloody nose with tissue*
Chris: You love me. :3
Me: >.> I'm going to get you in my dreams.
Chris: Oooooo that's where I come every night? ;)
Me: *sigh*

Toodles! <3

Alone.

Growing up.
I complained.
About everything.
People started.
Calling me spoiled.
I was alone then.
I am alone now.

Playing with.
Childhood friends.
She couldn't.
Bear seeing me with them.
I felt suffocated.
I was alone then.
I am alone now.

Talking amongst.
The teenagers.
I wasn't allowed.
Because she was.
Selfish and self-centered.
I was alone then.
I am alone now.

Meeting him was.
The time of my life.
This distance.
Between us.
It's too much.
I was alone then.
I am alone now.

Even talking.
On the phone.
Was a nuisance.
Putting it away.
Silently.
I was alone then.
I am alone now.

Slowly reaching.
My peaking point.
Sitting in my room.
Thinking.
Contemplating.
I was alone then.
I am alone now.

Why does it matter?
Of whatever I do?
Why taunt me?
When you know.
It's going to eat me?
I was alone then.
I am alone now.