No Words.

The soft strokes.
Gliding on white thin sheet.
The faint glow of a lamp.
Strong clicking of a clock.
As I sit and think.

How to put my feelings?
Onto a sheet?
When I just want to scream?
And tell the world?
Will they listen to my thoughts?

Will they ever know?
I pick up the quill.
And glide over the paper.
As my words come down.
I feel the outside close.

The warmth I once felt.
Now feels cold.
These warm feelings.
Once were mine.
Now they're no more.

Unfold me.
But it will only come.
To one end.
The reality strikes.
Harder than it seems.

Shifting across the page.
Memories cross my mind.
Like a never ending movie.
Like blood seeping.
Through my arm.

People say hurting yourself.
Has no outcome.
I say, hurt is the only way.
To escape the lights.
The demons inside.

Cracked.
Broken.
The cuts.
My fate.
Has been written.

Hurt.

Intertwined hands.
Swinging back and forth.
Smiles.
A glow on their faces.
Talking and laughing.

Watching from afar.
I wonder if they will.
End up like me.
Or will they have a new life?
Or will they suffer?

Hurt.
A small word.
Doesn't even begin.
To explain my pain.
My life.

The struggle.
The pain.
The hurt.
The agony.
The blood.

The love in their eyes.
Was once in mine.
The laughter echoing.
Was once mine.
My heart locked up forever.

Their new life.
The end of my thoughts.
Their new affection.
The end of my heart.
When will it end?

New beginnings.
End of me.
Where will I go?
Heaven?
Hell?

Help?
I don't need it.
My feelings are enough.
Friendship is what matters.
The most.

Wrap me up.
For I have sinned myself.
Please.
Oh please.
End this hurt. 

Breathe Me.

Craving for affection.

Sitting on a pillow. 

Imagining.

Daydreaming.

What it would be like?

If everything was gone?

Hurt.

Pain.

The burn in my heart.

The soul of my body.

Breathe me.

For I have done the worst.

Cringing in fear.

Of what I want to loose.

I would want.

To leave.

Rather die.

Would death be an option?

Decisions.

Routes.

Dilemma.

Breathing.

Why?

Just why?

The hole inside.

Like walking on broken glass.

Bleeding.

Through the veins.

Like watching someone die.

Unleash the demons.

Finding the light.

I'd rather rot.

In the dark.

The dark is worth it.

My feelings.

Doesn't count anymore.

They don't know the pain.

They don't know the misery.

They don't know the hurt.

A person goes through.

Thick and thin.

The end isn't worth it.

The worst part is.

There's no one else to blame.

My world.

Is big yet so small.

Breath me.

For I am to be blamed.

AUTHOR UPDATE #4!

Hey peeps.

So....I know you have been wondering what I've been doing all this time and you're probably saying 'why hasn't she been updating?!' 

Well....to answer all your questions. Recently, mid-June I started college to achieve my second diploma and for these last few weeks I had been swamped with homework and tests/exams. Don't ask.

Anyways.......I have been having family issues....but that's another story for another day. Right now, I'm going to be updating my blog fic and poems. And will be updating other stories that I have been meaning to finish. 

Without further notice.....

Ciao!