A Dream.

The murmuring of people.
As they walk by.
The sound of roar.
Behind me.
I want to go on it.

I stand in line.
Waiting for my turn.
The look on others.
Excitement.
And fear.

The lady with long hair.
Buckles me up.
I let out a breath.
Am I scared?
No.

As it goes up.
And up.
The excitement.
Builds.
Till wanting to burst.

The sky is blue.
A very pure shade of orange.
In the distance. 
My eyes closed.
As time stops.

The gush of wind.
Flows around.
The beeping sounds.
Confused.
Excited.

Cold.
That sound.
People screaming.
Enjoying.
Adrenaline rush.

Crying.
Laughing.
What is this?
Am I...
....dreaming?

The sound.
Gone.
The line is dead.
There is no more.
Dream became me.

Vanished.

Sitting at my bed.
I look up at the ceiling.
Memories play.
Some sad, some good.
Like a movie.

Smiling at one.
And another.
A tear falls down.
My face.
Why?

Why does it hurt?
So much that I still.
Want to hug you.
Want to cherish you.
Want to kiss you.

Lost, in these thoughts.
Hold me.
Wrap me up.
Unfold me.
I am small.

The warmth.
Is gone.
Forever.
You couldn't be the one.
I wanted.

You wanted my attention.
I gave it to you.
Where were you?
When I needed you the most?
Why did you hurt me?

Do you feel anything?
Did you feel anything?
I still feel for you.
Yet I'm letting you go.
Why do I still feel regret?

The more I think.
The more angry I feel.
The hurt you gave me.
Everything....
Vanished into thin air.

Gone.

The moment I saw it coming.

I knew I was a goner.

The way you smiled.

They way your eyes.

Had that glow.

I looked at you from afar.

Wanting to be by your side.

I had felt nothing like this.

There was something.

That made me smile.

Every time you called my name.

You recognized who I was.

As days went by.

We became friends.

But I wanted to be more.

But then you said.

I wasn't enough.

When we became more than I wanted.

I thought.

We were meant to be.

What is this I feel?

The hurt.

The guilt.

That hollowness.

You took it all away.

You thought I was just another.

You thought I couldn't be there.

You showed me what happiness is.

You showed me how to smile.

Yet, why do I feel regret?

Locking the room.

Little sobs come out of me.

I read the messages.

You called me those names.

Yet I'm sorry.

Open drawer.

Reached for the metal object.

Crying.

Pointed at my head.

Gone.

No Pain.

The object in front of me.
Blinking towards it.
I see myself.
As people see me.
But it's me.

You came into my life.
Gave me everything.
Yet you took it.
You took it all away.
From me.

Our past.
Our present.
Our future.
Gone.
Just like that.

The music playing.
Soft yet alluring.
Sitting on my bed.
I'm writing.
As a tear droplet falls.

Wiping my face.
I reach for the shiny object.
The familiar feeling.
Creeps along my spine.
As I hold it firmly.

Drawing out a breath.
I drag across.
Till I feel no more pain.
Till I feel the urge.
Dragging deeper and deeper.

The red ooze.
Feels good.
Soon, I feel.
Like I'm passing a race.
I feel no pain.

I'm Sorry.

When I met you.
I felt joy.
The burst of excitement.
The happiness.
You gave me.

The only thing.
That keeps me going.
Was your affection.
But now.....
......that's gone.

The hurt I feel.
Yet I see you.
This heaviness.
In my heart.
Gone forever.

I need you.
But all I see is.
All I see is.
You smiling.
At another.

Blinking.
As I'm sitting here.
I hear your laughter.
Just through this.
Obstacle.

Is this the end?
Is there no more?
What should I feel?
Should I feel anything?
Why does my heart hurt so much?

Hitting my chest.
Doesn't make.
The pain go away.
Just what is it?
About you?

As I walk.
Down the hallway.
The memories.
Shut my eyes.
I'm sorry.

No Words.

The soft strokes.
Gliding on white thin sheet.
The faint glow of a lamp.
Strong clicking of a clock.
As I sit and think.

How to put my feelings?
Onto a sheet?
When I just want to scream?
And tell the world?
Will they listen to my thoughts?

Will they ever know?
I pick up the quill.
And glide over the paper.
As my words come down.
I feel the outside close.

The warmth I once felt.
Now feels cold.
These warm feelings.
Once were mine.
Now they're no more.

Unfold me.
But it will only come.
To one end.
The reality strikes.
Harder than it seems.

Shifting across the page.
Memories cross my mind.
Like a never ending movie.
Like blood seeping.
Through my arm.

People say hurting yourself.
Has no outcome.
I say, hurt is the only way.
To escape the lights.
The demons inside.

Cracked.
Broken.
The cuts.
My fate.
Has been written.

Hurt.

Intertwined hands.
Swinging back and forth.
Smiles.
A glow on their faces.
Talking and laughing.

Watching from afar.
I wonder if they will.
End up like me.
Or will they have a new life?
Or will they suffer?

Hurt.
A small word.
Doesn't even begin.
To explain my pain.
My life.

The struggle.
The pain.
The hurt.
The agony.
The blood.

The love in their eyes.
Was once in mine.
The laughter echoing.
Was once mine.
My heart locked up forever.

Their new life.
The end of my thoughts.
Their new affection.
The end of my heart.
When will it end?

New beginnings.
End of me.
Where will I go?
Heaven?
Hell?

Help?
I don't need it.
My feelings are enough.
Friendship is what matters.
The most.

Wrap me up.
For I have sinned myself.
Please.
Oh please.
End this hurt.