First Author Update.

Hello!

Well this is my first ever update VLOG-ish....whatever you wanna call it. But hey!

Guess what?! I have started writing a fanfiction! And can you guess what it's on?! It's on my favorite video gamer ever! YUP. You guessed it. Resident Evil fanfic! Now most of you are going, "Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?!" while some of you are like, "What the hayo??!" 

But it's with one of my favorite Resident Evil character!!! Chris Redfield! YAY! *drools* Okay. Uhm...here's a little disappointing part. The story that I'm writing, it won't have the usual Resident Evil plot. you know the one's with zombies, anti-virus and all that. It's going to be a simple story line, romantic comedy with a bit of angst. And I hope I live up to your expectations. And of course! Reviews on it would great as it will help me write faster for you all.

Here's the link to the story:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9853511/1/Gone-for-Good

This is the current RE fic that I'll be continuing writing. So good to be back writing again! *throws confetti*

Enjoy~

P.S. Oh yes. Almost forgot. I will be continuing my work here as well! So don't be sad. I'm still here! It takes a lot to be writer so please be patient. :)

But I Won't.

I sit on the floor.
With nothing in my hands.
Thinking of the horrible.
I look up.
I can't feel the pain.
It's too much.
But I won't.

The screams.
The cries.
The horror.
Crimson liquid.
Bubbling through my skin.
The pain.
It's gone.
But I won't.

Getting shoved.
The cold ground.
Hearing the cracks.
Here and there.
Wondering.
Why me?
I look into the eyes.
Looking for hope.
It doesn't come.
But I won't.

Yearning for love.
Telling me.
Assuring me.
It's okay.
Everything's fine.
But it doesn't come.
It will never come.
But I won't.

Goodbye Forever.

Watching the fire.
Turn into ashes.
Droplets of water.
Pouring down.
Mixing sand with despair.
Mocking the world.
With its cleverness.

What does it all mean?
When one is no longer?
Laughter along the road.
Breaking the future.
In the distance...
....for more stabbing.

The lights flickering.
Speaking to one.
Of its actions.
Telling what's to come.
Expectation are its enemy.
But what to do?
When you're the enemy?

Stumbling towards ecstasy.
Hoping for freedom.
But what stops us?
From exploring?
No one knows.

Chewing the flesh.
Of an unknown memory.
The sudden burst.
Of emptiness.
Waving through the links.
Upon a wishing well.

The time ticking by.
One by one.
Taking us with it.
Each life...
Going at its distance.
Without glancing back.
Saying goodbye.
Forever.

Blinking Towards The Unknown.

Sitting on chair.
Sipping my coffee.
Thoughts playing.
Like a roller coaster.
Blinking towards the unknown.

Laughter.
Smiles.
Was it all worth it?
Happiness.
Sadness.
Looking at me.
Falling in love.

Watching the ocean.
Birds flying by.
Kids playing with sand.
Sand castles. 
Riding through the rush.
Wondering where to go next.

Looking at the pictures.
I smile.
It was the best moments.
The late night movies.
Was it all worth it?
Passing through.
The difficult times.

Picking the roots.
Here and there.
Painful yet sweet.
This blind love.
Wrecking me.
Like a roller coaster.
Blinking towards the unknown.

Like Flames In A Fire.

Smashing the button.

Stumbling out of bed.

Touching the cold tiles.

Screaming to burn.

Like flames in a fire.

Splashing the tired skin.

Waking up the nerves.

Taking steps to the heat.

Warming up the sun.

Like flames in a fire.

Sweeping through the fabrics.

Looking for something.

Trying to fit.

In the crowd.

Like flames in a fire.

Checking the reflection.

Making faces.

Is it worth it?

The trouble to go through this.

Wondering what it would be like.

Like flames in a fire.

Dancing through the wind.

Feeling the adrenaline.

Ignoring the stares.

Fighting the shame.

Like flames in a fire.

Through the corner.

Peace is found.

But it comes again.

Opening a bottle.

Swallowing the pain.

But it comes again.

Like flames in a fire.

I'm Gone.

I wake up everyday.
Wondering.
What it would be like to be?
A normal person.
I see others laugh.
But why?
Why me?

Thinking on the past.
I try to let it go.
I always cry.
I always take it.
Mom is crying.
Dad is drunk.
Yet, I take it.

Looking at the spots.
On my body.
I come across.
The red lines on my arm.
Some fresh, some new.
Laughing with tears.
I reach for the shiny object.

Ecstasy.
What I feel.
What I want.
What I have.
It won't go away.
Why won't it go away?

As I await the darkness.
Memories play like a movie.
I wonder.
Will they even know?
If I'm not there?
Would they find me?
If I'm lost?
Will they ever wonder?
If I'm gone?

I open my eyes.
But too weak. 
I see a picture.
Of family.
I smile.
I'm gone.

Remains Unseen.

Blinking towards the ecstasy.
Finding the words of happiness.
Breaking through the tombs.
Wishing upon a star.
Asking for love.

Driving the vocabulary around us.
Looking out the window.
What brings us closer?
Even I don't know.

Telling the truth hurts.
We all know it.
Finding the key to success.
Failure is always an option.
But what to do?
The impossible.

With my own hands.
Tracing the outline.
Feeling the surface.
Passing the feeling.
The broken heart....
....remains unseen.